My Daughter Speaks

My daughter happens to be one of the most talented bloggers I know. I look up to her writing and I liked this one so much I thought I'd steal it from her. For more, take the time to visit her blog: www.thatafricankid.tumblr.com



So I found this ancient treasure (not kidding, it falls apart even more with every page I turn) in a charity shop while waiting for my friends to turn up for lunch (they’re both black fyi so I was in there a LONG time). Written in 1892, during the Victorian era (when Africa was nothing more than an exotic mystery to many*) by an English writer, I was intrigued, to say the least, how a white man came to tell a story of “the most beautiful of Zulu women”.

A sleepless night in, a cup of strong coffee and several chapters later, I was a little bemused when the narrator confessed: “I believe her blood was not all Zulu… her eyes were softer and larger than those of our people, her hair longer and less tightly curled, and her skin was lighter”, revealing that “the beauty of Nada was rather as is the beauty of the white people” as her grandfather was a white man.

Now this tells me two things (maybe more): (a) Just when you thought that beauty was JUST beauty, turns out there are TWO kinds of beauty, and one of them is superior (b) Nada is “fairest” in the land of the Zulus because she has Caucasian blood in her.

What troubles me is the fact that these are the opinions of a black, Zulu man- portrayed and presented to us by an English writer. In a world defined by “us” and “them”, is this how “they” really imagined us- somehow believing that “their” beauty was more beautiful than “ours”? It took reading a few chapters of this book to realise that perhaps the white Englishman, writing over a century ago, saw that the black man regarded himself as inferior even before the black man understood the implications of such seemingly harmless thoughts. And perhaps, if we will learn to accept beauty in a multitude of places, then people are just people; there is no “us”, no “them”, just people. Guard your minds, follow my blog (Hahaha that was a joke but it made me feel important) .

(*Africa remains nothing more than an exotic mystery to many today)

“It’s DPP’s Time to Eat”

I was chatting with my good wife Fula and we agreed that I should change my name from simple Watipaso Mkandawire to “Hon. Prof. Watipaso Chihoro-man Wa Mukandawire”. My wife will now be called Ms Fula Wa Mukandawire.. Oh Yes.... Wa Mukandawire Woye! Inunso Woyee.

Fula at first thought it was not a good idea to add Professor, but I convinced her that despite having not taught at any University, I have written enough trash both, on my blog and on Malawitalk and Nyasanet to earn the Professorship. My local Community University in Watford run by my good friend from Kashmir will present the award to me before Christmas.

You see, things start happening in life when you elongate your name. Michela Wrong summarised change of name so well in her book entitled “It’s our Turn to Eat” when she argued that “the give-away is the moment a leader adds an extra segment to his name”. Sounds familiar? The give- away is also when wardrobe changes. You wear Rolex. You carry flywhisk. You carry a walking stick. Remember Ngwazi Mkango Wamuyaya Dr HKB? Remember Mzee in Gikuyuland? Remember General Field Marshall Idi Amin Dada or Kaka? Remember Prof. Dr Alhaji Yaya Jamme? Remember Yowere “Kaguta” Museveni? Remember King Phata of Ngaluland? Remember Julius “Mwalimu” Nyerere? Remember Bakili “Kuntunda wokumbamanda” Muluzi? Remember Daniel “Totoitich” Arap Moi?

Fula had initially argued that the change of wardrobe and acquisition of assets has nothing to do with adding prefixes to names. “You have to have a business or a job that earns you real kwayelas”, she reasoned. But she forgot that Wa Mukandawire dreams in colour and had already figured how he will earn the kwayelas. You see, I have not only added prefixes to my name, I have now qualified as one of the banana mafia as my name makes me the son of Ngaluland. Fula was so impressed and she immediately filled my glass with that wicked red drink she enjoys most, encouraging me to spill the beans.

Then her eyes shot up, Ahhhh, is that the reason why the Sergeant of Diesel Petrol Palibe prefers to be called Zakhala? No No No, I interrupted Fula. The Sergeant’s strategy and mine are different. The sergeant’s strategy is to destroy this Mandasi woman. Wa Mukandawire’s strategy is to join in the eating. Fula lost interest and plainly told me that it was my bedtime and my declaration meant I was denied of the wicked red drink......and more. It was a long empty night!

IMPACT OF TRAVEL BAN: SILENT DEMONSTRATIONS

MALAWI is slowly but surely isolating itself from the World Community. Following the Budget Statement read by Hon. Ken Kandodo (MP) and most likely major contents provided by HE President Wa Muthalika, Malawi has been missing out in most international meetings. Not only are most of the meetings critical to Malawi’s development agenda, travel, to these regional and international meetings is an incentive for civil-servants for their continued professional duties in Government.

It is common knowledge that the take-home pay by most civil servants is obscene and these hard-working (including lazy) civil servants survive and acquire assets through allowances that they receive when they travel on duty.
More often than note, those in leadership positions are easily fooled by shallow-minded rent-seeking advisers. This is typical of what we are seeing in our country today. The Mzati Nkolokosa article is one case in point, where he argues that the agitation for demonstrations has nothing to do with the economic challenges the country is facing, but rather the anger by Northerners because of the policy on quota. Because of short-term benefits they enjoy, the advisers fail to see the bigger picture.

Whilst Civil Society, opposition parties and Churches are advocating for street demonstrations, civil servants denied of their privilege of trips abroad, are actively demonstrating silently as the country grounds to a halt and isolates itself from the world family. Malawi’s voice is simply silent and physical bodies absent in most international fora including in countries where we have diplomatic offices.
Invitations to various meetings/conferences are issued to Ministries and in turn Ministers and Principal Secretaries ask the Big Kahuna as to whether they should attend. More often than not, the answer is a big No. Civil Servants end up filing away the invitations. "Why bother to send the invitation to Malawi Embassy or High Commission in that country to represent the country"? Obviously the hosting country will call the Malawi Embassy or High Commission as to whether Malawi will attend. The Ambassador or High Commissioner having no clue about the meeting, let alone whether the “M” Politburo has agreed to Malawi’s participation, simply says, I will get back to you. The meeting takes place, no apologies from Malawi and no one attends and no one bothers to find out what decisions have been taken. That is now the order of the day. It is probably embarrassing for most Malawi’s civil servants and diplomats to sit behind the new flag which represents the new working order where only one man knows it all.

Of course our beloved President once experimented with the travel ban in COMESA when he was Secretary General. The result of the experiment is why today we have the Professor as our President. Silent demonstrations!
Yes we may smoke out street demonstrators but can we smoke out silent demonstrators? After August 17, perhaps Silent Demonstrations adopted by civil servants will serve us right.

http://www.faceofmalawi.com/2011/07/pictures-20july-malawi-demonstration-picture-malawi-protests/

Is JB and BM two sides of the same coin?

BM was so appealing to the grass roots, so is JB. BM was comfortable with people of all class and mainly the grass roots. BM was genuinely compassionate and free-giving, so is JB. BM had a sense of humour, so does JB.

The difference perhaps as is the case with a coin is that JB may be “Heads” and BM probably “tails”. That is not to say one can decide in a coin that Heads is better than tails or vice versa. The difference between Heads and Tails is that when tossing a coin, one is made to choose the different sides. For the purpose of this story, let us say JB is Heads and BM is tails.

Let us start from premise of why the two are two sides of same coin apart from similarities described above. Both JB and BM emerged soon after the country was governed by “the so called” educated elites who looked down upon Malawians. Whereas HKB repeatedly reminded us how he found us “literally naked”, B”W”M has questioned the shallow thinking of Malawians and organised lectures to remove our ignorance. Both HKB and BMW ruled with a “know it all” attitude and never tolerated criticism and those that criticised where either fed to crocodiles or smoked out! HKB and BWM both lived a “life of pomp”, swimming in luxury.

BM had to emerge out of shadows of HKB and no wonder when I visited Sanjika Palace for the first time in 1997, standards had gone down considerably. A waiter serving luncheon attended by over 100 people including visiting Asian business captains had “mamina” (mucus) nearly defying gravity and dropping into the bowl of beef curry he was serving. Esteemed senior UDF’ers sitting next to me sent him packing.
If JB were to win the next elections, she would emerge and try to take over from King of Ndata and as a “mandasi woman” she will be trying to fit into the big boots whilst selling mandasi.

Well. As Malawians we have to continue experimenting. I believe that as a Malawian who is past his life expectancy, I would rather choose Heads over tails. Yes I like mandasi, but that is not the reason why I would choose Heads. I believe in JB not because I think she will be a saviour but because she will make a better President than BM or BWM. JB is self-made and ambitious. She will however re-write Malawi’s and SADC’s history by becoming the first female President in Malawi and SADC. She will pay special attention to “tomato” and “mandasi” sellers. She will dedicate her energies to education and business growth. She will provide a platform for team work. She will provide Malawians with warmth in her “Chi Joyce Banda”.

But, here is caution to the “Heads” I have picked. This will only be possible if those in PP are able to establish a governance structure that will not make her “King” or “Queen” of Mandasi Sellers. There will be a need for a PP governance structure where party (PP) will not be synonymous to JB and vice-versa. I can only hope that PP will be the first party that will introduce decentralisation that will make the grass root make more decisions regarding their political and economic lives.
Is JB ready to lead Malawi? I want to believe that she is more than ready. Her interview with Brian Banda was impressive. If what she says is what she believes in, then we have a gem that will make us shine. I am aware that when she was Foreign Minister, one of her weaknesses was yielding to Peter Muthalika who took centre stage in international meetings despite being a mere Adviser. Perhaps as she showed during Brian Banda’s interview, at times being humble and respectful is no weakness.

I however doubt if people surrounding her are ready to support and create the first successful female President of Malawi. I doubt that they share her vision and her outlook to life. I however agree with her on her take on the so called recycled politicians. They are first and for most Malawians. One would ask, what is the difference between the current Cabinet and BM’s cabinet? I would say the only difference is that they fear BWM than they feared BM, otherwise most remain opportunists. How I wished JB teamed up with the recent DPP “fall out” DP.

When I was in Malawi soon after 20/7, the overwhelming message I got was, Let us support JB. My cry is, “let us help build PP into a modern party that will introduce civilised and professional politics”. Then other parties may emulate what it takes to run a professional party. Imagine MCP being democratic!

The Presidency is for JB to lose. Perhaps the magic is in the “Chi Joyce Banda”. Ife ndiye Tatopa!.

Malawi TenderPreneurs ...HAKE! Kasi ndi LUTING'I IYI (Is it Looting)

Malawi TenderPreneurs ...HAKE! Kasi ndi  LUTING'I IYI  (Is it Looting?)

It amazes me when guns go out blazing from the "holier than thou" DPP leadership calling Malawians "thugs and looters" following the July 20 demonstrations!  Agreed, there is no justification for lawlessness and looting during such demonstrations,  but hey, do not throw stones when you live in a glass house.

When I read South African papers about the bad boy Julius Malema and his $16 million mansion with a bunker built from a US$13,000 monthly salary, I suddenly realised that this new breed of business persons rightly called TenderPreneurs are killing Africa.  Malawi has it's share of TenderPreneurs.

These TenderPreneurs (TEPs)  have enriched themselves over the last couple of years under  DPP  Government and every single day new TEPs are emerging. TEPs emerge because political leadership need "hero worshippers" or "praise singers" who have no time to question bad policies or bad governance. They hate the country and simply love themselves. They care less of a girl from Mbwindi village who at tender age of 3, barefoot, if lucky, has one meal a day, has to help her widowed mother dig mice and carry carry out household chores instead of being in school?  

In the current Malawi, it is common knowledge that Lucrative contracts are given to political loyalists, tribal affiliates and family members who overnight become rich (not wealthy) and with their briefcases full of new business cards go around the world claiming to be Malawian business elites! Remember, We had them during MCP and UDF regimes. Interestingly, many of the previous TEPs finally know where to find a shoe repairer and those posh cars have but disappeared.

Well, one would ask, what is wrong with rational beings grabbing opportunities? What is wrong is that TEPs and their promoters are simply looters. Think about it. These loyalists and those in leadership positions have been looting the public coffers willy nilly over the last couple of years with dubious businesses and projects.  When they wake up in the morning, it is always about what else is available for free? 24/7 they loot and loot and loot, scheme new ways of grabbing public resources. They are simply LOOTERS.    They   are not ashamed to show off their newly acquired riches, building obscene houses and multiple "White elephants" that would make the truly  wealthy beings wonder and blush. Their newly acquired riches makes them arrogant and in their minds they believe that they have done what Napoleon could not do. They grab whatever comes into their way, be it wives or contracts or properties? 

Now, here is the irony.  A simple Kawale-man, chihoro-man, mbayani-man, double-bend man, out of anger and the long-suffering due to lack of jobs and other economic opportunities joins a protest march. In the process, as they pass the high street, someone shouts, "the shop belongs to a TEPs. The marchers to pounce on the shop and help themselves to a few drugs, some bread, toothpaste, cement, sobo, blankets etc and ... Guess Who throws the first stone?  The same TenderPreneurs , the same looters, the same so called leaders who have milked us clean as we watched!

 July 20 was about the fight against systems that TenderPreneurs and LOOTERS have built to sustain their newly found lifestyle. They even wonder why car-less povos  complain about lack of fuel or black-outs when they have no electricity in their homes.

As Malawians prepare for August 17, let us show the TEPs that we are not like them. We are a breed that is preparing for a better Malawi, where there will be no place for " LOOTERS In Leadership.

Africa, Mindset, Development and Doctors

You may have noticed that I said “AFRICA” and not “AFRICANS”. This is deliberate because it is Africa that needs to be developed and it is African Doctors working in Africa that need change in mindset. Africans are as exposed as anyone in the world. With globalisation, knowledge is no longer a scarce resource. However, many doctors living in an African environment operate as if knowledge is very scarce.

There are so many things one takes for granted living in a western country like the United Kingdom. For example, when I go to see my doctor (here in UK referred as GP), one thing that strikes me is that he/she has a computer right there and a pile of books. Once or twice he/she goes on-line to check for something or refers to the books. I have therefore made it a habit that before I go and see my GP, I “Google” and try to understand what I may be suffering from. This helps me ask relevant questions. Turn the page and go to Malawi or Zambia (where I lived for 4 years). Apart from papers and some books on the desk, doctors have no computers and probably have no access to internet in their offices.

In my first early history lessons, I learnt about the different types of history which included “written and remembered” history. It seems our medical personnel in Africa prefer to use remembered history and find “written history” either a nuisance or unnecessary. As someone once said, “If you want to hide anything from an African, put it in a book”. It seems this is true for our medical personnel. My wife once had a gynaecological problem and a doctor in Zambia after one visitation and a scan boldly said, “I have to remove your uterus”. The reason was simple. My wife had confirmed that we did not intend to have any more children. Therefore removing her uterus was, to the doctor, the best solution. If this surgeon had read new medical findings he would have known that removing uterus is only recommended when the condition is life threatening. The reason might be that a woman’s body minus the uterus could bring other complications or imbalances. When the doctor was asked when he could perform the operation, he quickly said, "If you want, tomorrow"! Was motivation money? I am glad we went and read and consulted. We flew to South Africa, and my wife still has her uterus!

I had surgery in 1995 in the USA to remove a duodenal ulcer. Years later, in 2007, as I advised a friend with ulcers in Malawi, he was not even aware (nor his Doctor) that nowadays anti-biotics are part of ulcer treatment. In 1982 two Australian scientists, Robin Warren and Barry Marshall showed the bacterium Helicobacter pylori (now known as H. Pylori in medical field) plays a key role in the development of both stomach and intestinal ulcers. They were eventually awarded a Nobel Prize for medicine in 2005.

A friend recently shared a story of how three different doctors in an African country kept giving her antibiotics for over a year and told her that it was a gynaecological problem. The diagnosis after more than 3 scans kept changing. The last time she was told that the doctor would open her up to see what the problem was! She decided to go to South Africa and within a day, it was discovered that she had Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). Google it if you want to know IBS. Imagine the trauma of being opened and being told that it was IBS and closed again.

This may look simple, but imagine the loss of life as a result of poor diagnosis, money spent on irrelevant drugs, time spent going and visiting doctors, resources used to go for medical treatment in South Africa etc etc. This all adds up and continue making our health systems expensive and strained. Yet we have qualified and competent personnel. It only takes a change of mindset to reverse this trend. Doctors have to start reading. Doctors have to be innovative. Medical practice is only for those that understand that the world is changing on a daily basis and they have to keep in touch with the changing world.

Perhaps Doctor should only be given a licence to practice if they have access to internet and subscribe to modern journals, and perhaps they should go for exams every two years. This however means in countries like Malawi, Internet infrastructure should be made available and affordable. Doctors can send patients’ scans abroad by email to get a second opinion before giving a diagnosis. This try and error method is a disaster.

If I was Malawi Government...I would not deliberately create rebels

If I was Malawi Government, I would make “Rhoda Nyirenda” my star and model student of the year. I would ensure that the country does not lose or waste Rhoda Nyirenda’s brains. I would live to my pronouncement of promoting women’s emancipation – and that I believe that the world would be a better place if Governments educated women. I would show that I can lead Africa by example.

If only I was Malawi Government, I would ensure that Rhoda Nyirenda does not suffer discrimination. I would parade and showcase her to Malawian girls as a living example of what a girl is capable of achieving.

If I was Malawi Government, I would desist from creating a rebellious Rhoda Nyirenda. I would reward her for her hard work rather than punish and discourage her. I would desist from making her lose her confidence and think she is not good enough for Malawian Universities. I would surely desist from making her think she is less Malawian that everyone else. I would protect her and ensure that she does not become vulnerable to the world’s evils and eventually end up as a “teenage mother”.

If I was Malawi Government, I would, by any means necessary give Rhoda Nyirenda the opportunity and support to continue her education and excel in a career that would help in Malawi’s development. I would call upon all well wishers to support Rhoda Nyirenda and all other deserving students to pursue their university studies.

If I was Malawi Government, I would ensure I find resources and place all the 207 (+) deserving students in higher education either in Malawi or neighbouring countries or postpone their entry into the University until later when I have created capacity to offer them education they deserve.

Unfortunately I am not Malawi Government.

I can only pray that Rhoda Nyirenda and all those deserving students irrespective of their tribal affiliation do not become rebels. They deserve better. So does Malawi!